Planning Your New Year's Resolutions

Content Warning: I drop a couple curse words in this blog post. You've been warned.

Shyma Perera once said, "I like beginnings because they’re so full of promise. The first page of a book, the first day of a job, the first time you buy yourself flowers, the first date with a new man, the first tour, the first kiss, the first kick of a good liquor, the first moment you hold your own baby. I like beginnings because I know there’s always more to come." I have always loved New Years, I love the idea of a new start. I've never really been someone who was in to goal setting on my birthday, I never look at a year as a full year of my age, I see it more as what I accomplish in a year. So after the craziness of this year I am so excited for New Years this year!

Every year I make a whole list of resolutions, choosing to focus on a large group of things that I feel like I need to improve and each year I'm disappointed in myself for not reaching all of my to do lists. What I've realized is that it's incredibly unrealistic to assume that the person that I am in the beginning of the year will be the same person in June or December. I'm always growing and always changing and because of that my priorities are always shifting. Because of that, I'm trying something new this year. So here it is! How to plan your New Year's Resolutions:

Don't Plan ANY New Year's Resolutions

Okay, hear me out, I know that sounds a little crazy. Just throw away the whole process?

No, that's not what I mean at all! I'm still creating lists, but this year I'm not creating resolutions. Resolution, by definition, are firm decisions and that's what I want to change. I want to get rid of the rigidity of resolutions and the shame that comes from other people that don't meet their goals. This year there were a couple resolutions I wasn't able to do. I wanted to travel somewhere new outside the US and find a way to release aggression (either through boxing or roller derby). For obvious reasons, not being able to leave my house, I wasn't able to do those things so oh well brush it off. But, there were some other resolutions on my list that I can't say the same thing for. For example, I wrote in January that I wanted to finish writing my book and that I wanted to create & maintain a balanced diet. Those were the two that really made me feel like absolute shit. I was feeling so upset at myself and like I failed myself. Until... I realized that putting such negative feelings on myself was so fucked.

There were so many things that I accomplished this year that weren't on my resolution list. So what if I didn't finish my book? I wrote a 100+ page script! So what if I didn't create and maintain a balanced diet? I have made so many new recipes and tried so many new things this year. And the biggest thing of all: I survived a pandemic! When I wrote my resolutions in December I would have never guessed that the world would have shut down the way it did. So fuck resolutions! I'm done sticking to a program that is rigid and doesn't allow for natural growth.

Okay, so what does that mean going forward? Because like I said, I love New Years and I love the potential of a new beginning and all of that AND I freaking love lists. So what's my plan. Instead of creating a resolution I am creating an amenable list of reminders of things that I wish, at this moment, I could be doing. This list includes things like: Journal twice a week, work on my back flexibility, and learn how to swim in the ocean. These are all things that as of right now I'd like to be doing more consistently but I feel like I forget about because of all the other craziness in my life. Instead of looking at these as things I need to do this year, I'm looking at this list as more of a check in place. A place that I can go to when I have some free time to figure out how and fill it.

One of the biggest things that I've learned and have been focusing on through this year of self growth is to eliminate the things in my life that make me feel bad. Resolutions are a consistent cause of disappointment and shame for me. So this year, and every year in the future, I will be cutting this out of my life. Life is too short to be plagued with constant disappointments. I am so incredibly happy in my life and in the direction that I am going in right now and I refuse to continue to make myself suffer.

I hope all of you are able to do the same. Be able to identify the parts in your life that make you feel bad about yourself and find healthy ways to rid yourself of that feeling. I want to say very clearly: 2021 is not going to solve all our problems. The end of this year isn't going to be the magic cure to the pandemic, it won't be the end of sad celebrity deaths, it won't be the end of political and racial tension. This new beginning isn't exactly going to be a fresh start, but it is a beautiful chance for all of us to take steps forward in creating an environment and life that cultivates love for ourselves and love for everyone.

Me on New Years, ready to take on 2021

This is the last blog post of the year! I am really excited at all that this year has offered to me, even through all the hurt and anger and craziness of this year. I have had such joy writing on this blog and being able to share my thoughts and I hope that if you're reading this you find some joy in my writing too. Hope you stay on this journey with me next year and years to come!

Have a Happy New Year y'all!

Xoxo,

A Whelmed Christy